Tonight i couldn’t bring myself to say hi. 

what does this even mean? have I stopped trying, is our distance too far to even try to reach him. I don’t think things will EVER be the same. To be honest, I know it was never going to happen that day during the summer was a one time thing, all it was, was a summer fling (barely a fling), we were just a little too drunk (barely drunk). It just happened. But of course around here we live life with no regrets. So, we don’t regret it, we just  accept the consequences that follow. e.g me falling in love with him. I’ll just live with it. I will find someone better I hope . How do you forget someone who gave you so much to remember… How do i move on when i was so close. Every long hug, kiss, memorable moment stil remains in my mind fresh as ever. I still remember how his heart was beating SO fast before we first kissed. When he said he liked me, how i was overjoyed. I should have known. Someone like you, could never be with someone like me. You’re too perfect. You only go with perfect people. Smart and pretty at the same time. Sadly i’m none. 

I know you’ve heard me complain about this forever now. Complain about how im giving up, about how i’m not good enough, about every moment i had with him. But who the fuck are you to be reading this/ judging this.

I just love him. thats all.