i realize that people change everything does.  And what i have now between lulu justin jae won and sun ho  i don’t want it to go away. i like it, i like how we’re friends im afraid that if me and justin went out, then just like that broke up. Everything would fall apart. so you know what, i can wait for justin we can let all our friendships grow a little maybe when we’re closer and little older we can have a relationship then, maybe that one will be longer because anyway love is bullshit at this age. i may have to suffer a little bit,  but im fine with waiting for you.

but…. then again what if out friendship doesn’t grow maybe this is as close as i can actually get. what if instead we drift apart become just those people you glance at. i never want that between us. you guys may think im just some chick who likes justin. well im not i ACTUALLY like hanging out with you guys, to be honest more than my actual friends sometimes, i feel like i can fit in, like you won’t judge me. isn’t that what we all want ? to fit in ?

You know what I want in the near future besides good grades. I was to live somewhere in fo ton grandville or palazzo and hang with lulu everyday after school. sometimes with rose too! sometimes all the guys would just hang out with us too. maybe get tipsy again. AND also date justin without worrying about him loving someone else or cheating on me. thats the kind of friendships i want (of course still best friends with leah)

As for now maybe i should concentrate on getting good grades. At this age why should i be worrying about getting a boyfriend. it’s not like we’re gonna last at this age. so now just Grades and friends and of course not getting fat :) imma try that im still going to love justin, just that im going to go with the flow