January 2012
17 posts
in progress
Do you remember
kissing you on the lips
holding me by the hips
on those summer days
kissing you right outside
being right by your side
Hugging me from behind
Your heart beating so fast
Oh how time flew past
Justin I miss you
Do you miss me too?
kissing you on the bed
i remember what you said
We have one year to go
I remember so down low
I know you’ve moved on
Mistakes.
my friends wont forgive me.
growing up.
I think this generation grows up way too fast. I grew up way too fast there are so many things i should have discovered and done later in life. love shouldnt have been something to worry about back in year 7. I shouldn’t have had a boyfriend too. I was just naive i guess. But that still doesn’t change the things that happened. The things that have been engraved into my life. But 2011...
http://www.mysoju.com/japanese-movie/confession/the-movie/group-1/part-1/
i hate group work
because im too stupid for everyone
Killing time.
I am current spending my time procrastinating.I have my Dali art hwk to do. Its due tmr. Oh well. Also i’m listening to songs that relate to my life. and um me and justin. I know now. what me and justin have between us is just lust. well to him anyway. theres no love in all that hugging, kissing etc. I should’ve know all along, but i just wanted to see the ‘what ifs’
...
Believe by Mainstay
Crazy Love by Hawk Nelson
Let’s Go Back by Everyday Sunday
Innocent by Stellar Kart
Lead Me by Sanctus Real
Follow You by Leeland
The Redeemer by Sanctus Real
Me and Jesus by STellar Kart
Tears of Saints by Leeland
Whatever You’re Doing by Sanctus Real
Yes You Have by Leeland
Your Love is a Mystery by hawk...
Urgh. I can feel the pressure building up
all the assessments, essays, asdfghjk X.X
According to you- orthani
you and me- life house
kesha songs
mayday parade songs
anabor songs
NEVERSHOUTNEVER songs :’(
james blunt
jamie T
jason derulo
jason maraz
jason reeeves
jayz
jessica lee may field- kiss me again
jessie j
jet
joe brooks
people change-joel and luke
john mayer - your body is a wonderland
battle feild- jordin sparks
Joyce Jonathan - Gossip Girl...
According to you- orthani
you and me- life house
kesha songs
mayday parade songs
anabor songs
NEVERSHOUTNEVER songs :’(
james blunt
jamie T
jason derulo
jason maraz
jason reeeves
jayz
jessica lee may field- kiss me again
jessie j
jet
joe brooks
people change-joel and luke
john mayer - your body is a wonderland
battle feild- jordin sparks
Joyce Jonathan - Gossip Girl...
I'm Happy or at least not sad.
Me and my best friend are skyping again. Maybe it’s because of hwk, but i honestly don’t mind.
Ah. Fuck.
I have a math test comming up and i dont understand shit >.<
If i can't be happily in love, at least i'll be...
books
where i belong
to kill a mocking bird
looking for alaska
virgin suicide
truth is.....
from my friend..
“truth is….. justin isnt that amazing. he isnt worth your time and i think personally that you should move on.”
You know what? I honestly think shes right. Deep down i’ve always seem to know that, but I could never bring my self to start moving on. I believed that he would want me someday and he would fall for me again. After new years i was so convinced...
omg i just realised its January :) And Its me and justin’s birthday month :D
The New Year- Death Cab For Cutie
2012 first day of the year
Amazing after the count down i was pretty disappointed but then me lulu and justin decided to crash at lulu’s house….
we watched a scary movie. he leaned closer to me. I leaned closer to him. he puts his arm around my waist. I lean my head on his shoulder. takes his other hand and intertwines it with mine. smiles.
he was sleepy and pulled me down onto the bed. more smiles. pulling my...
December 2011
17 posts
crying.
marilou
school change
cheated
dad got pissed
Friends.
Today I found out there is no one I can honestly trust who will not judge me and who will actually listen and try to make an effort to be my friend.no one will want to hang out with me , like try to find a day just to hang with me. *unless they have nothing to do or they know im free. People with laugh at you when you’re not there. they will tell you’re secrets. They just will. Even...
It's not what you think.
Oh my god. I did something so embarrassing Urgh. I was walking home and a couple mins after justin and his bro left. I did it so i wouldn’t run into them.. but then since they walk so slow i caught up.. from there I took a random route hoping it would take me in a different direction, once i got to the closest exit i looked out the door trying to figure out where i was… but there he...
?
Tonight i couldn’t bring myself to say hi.
what does this even mean? have I stopped trying, is our distance too far to even try to reach him. I don’t think things will EVER be the same. To be honest, I know it was never going to happen that day during the summer was a one time thing, all it was, was a summer fling (barely a fling), we were just a little too drunk (barely drunk). It...
What if I do love him?
Things I Like:Finding Routes Home
Recently I finally got the chance to take the 26 minibus home. I took it from Ma On Shan all the way to my house. Ahhh LOL if i was dating justin i could go to justins house and go straight home LOLOLOL
Things are getting better
It’s finally christmas break, well almost. life is happy, I am happy. There may be flaws but i have friends that love me and thats all that matters. It really doesn’t matter if justin doesn’t like me. I’m okay with that.
how to stop annoying things from crushing you.
Ugh, i complain too much about how much my life sucks, but actually it’s not that bad. But sometimes there are these little things that piss me off. for example i cant go to this music festival >.<
[] Bought condoms.
[] Gotten pregnant.
[] Failed a class. [x] Kissed a boy. [x] Kissed a girl. [] Used a little paper bag for lunch. [] Had a job. [x] Slipped on ice. [x] Missed the bus. [x] Left the house without money. [x] Bullied someone on the internet. [] Sexted. [] Had sex in public. [x] Played on a sports team. [] Smoked weed. [] Smoked cigarettes. [] Smoked a cigar. [x] Drank alcohol....
no one truly knew where i hid my diary....
it’s right here open for everyone to see
what's been in my head. oct 4
i realize that people change everything does. And what i have now between lulu justin jae won and sun ho i don’t want it to go away. i like it, i like how we’re friends im afraid that if me and justin went out, then just like that broke up. Everything would fall apart. so you know what, i can wait for justin we can let all our friendships grow a little maybe when we’re closer and little older...
something on Oct 30
He told me he had a secret, it was that he was moving schools, next year.
I’ve only known him for about a year going to two, we’ve shared so many memories together, he made me feel so happy.
i dont want him to leave.
i love him,
so so so so much.
he said “at least we have a year”
i just wanted to say “to be together?”
its not fair.
i want him,
so so so so much.
When he dropped me...
what do you do? if you love someone so so so much? but they dont seem to love you back. it sucks so so much i cant stress enough how much i love him….
:(
things that make me happy
I know one thing about justin that practically no one knows
he snores in his sleep and its cute ^.^
Where are our turtle adventures?
Dear turtle,
I miss you, I miss how we would go on ocean adventures how we would spread the love with percy pigs. I miss how you would hug me oh so tight. I miss how we didn’t know each other so it was so easy to ask you questions. I miss texting you and the fact you didn’t know i loved you. I miss how you called me turtle.
I miss you so much. I would do anything to get you back. I...
Memories.
I was just going through some of my photos and stuff on my mac re-organizing them. I came across the “videos” folders and found videos of the happiest day i my life, well one of… These videos almost made me cry. I thought about every single thing we did that day, how everything was so fun, how we were so free how we had no worries, how we liked each other how I didn’t feel...
November 2011
21 posts
SUMMER'11?
what happened? did heather and justin really kiss?
You know when someone likes you and that little...
Well i have that problem, do i let that little part of me win? I can do it if i have the energy to do so. But i know what i truly want I want ______ not him. I’m still *attempting* to get over it but so many things stop me. It’s been more 9 months since i’ve liked him and since that 9 months so, so many things have happened. It’s so hard to just give up when i feel so close...
I dont know what to do anymore
i’m absolutely sure that you don’t love me, i never talk to you, you never talk to me. I keep thinking of a happy future but to be honest all those moments I wanted to spend with you will never happen, they’re just made up stories in my head. that’s all there is to it.
Dear Best Friend,
You keep wondering what you did wrong, to be honest i think you were the best boyfriend anyone could have. I dont think you get that, most people know and admire the fact you can love you one so, so much. Most of the time i envy the fact that you are so loving to her. But what irritates me the most is she doesnt react the same way back to you. it worried me and everyone agrees with me.
Yeh. I'm Going Insane.
Movie Time!
Tonight I watched this Japanese Movie, Its kinda like the hunger games, but instead of districts its japan and these 9th grade students, I realised that what most people wanted to do the most was tell the person they like / their crush that they loved them.
ways to survive or just the main options
be a slut have sex with all the guys then kill them
stay with you’re gang of...
Everyones going through some shit.
I hate seeing my best friend so heart broken. She hurt him, It hit him hard. And I know hes going to be strong about it. It’s that scary type of heart broken, it’s the kind that changes how you see things. You pretend so hard that when something strong reminds you of her, you’ll break down. Burst into uncontrollable tears. Your heart will hurt a lot. Hopefully you’re...
I feel like shit.
I’m so sick of being stupid. I’m sick of loving you, but like most sick people they don’t have a choice. I guess I do but i can’t bring myself to do it. I want to talk to someone who will try, to talk to me. I always feel like crying and something thats scaring me is that i might be kinda like really slowly feeling something for J1. this is bad. gah but justin is still...
my worries are back again.
Depression- okay so maybe thats to the extreme i’m just sad. To be honest i think i’m quite pathetic, recently i’ve been trying so, so hard to get your attention. it doesnt work you don’t notice me. I try to get everyones attention, don’t get me wrong i’m not faking my sadness i am sad…. maybe i’m just seeing who my real friends are. I think kelly is...
My worries seem to be gone for now.
11.11.11
finally the day has come, the day that won’t come for another 100 years. What did i wish for? Well thats a secret. If i told you, it wouldn’t come true…
After a stressful and amazing day, i had a fruit cup from tuttimelon and shake shake fries :D. ahhh and a sub for math someone must’ve wished mr imey away :D
Nothing much to write to day… you know just one of those...
Flaming Green.
I’m jealous, i’m jealous of the new girl. i’m jealous of rucia, i’m jealous of linlin. and ok i’M SOMETIMES’ jealous of heather. just because of the justin parts and the fact shes skinny. I’m jealous of so many people they’re all so happy and smart and skinny and pretty all at the same time. They all have great love lives, lots of fb attenition AND...
I dont understand what so great about 1D…
Goshhhh how was I so stupid i posted my personal post on my main blog =. = fuckkkkkkk i hope no one read it :/
“You can make me so happy, and yet you can also make me so depressed”
Romeo & Cinderella